My ideals

"Am I a loser?" I queried Kyle as we headed home late Sunday night at the end of the most wonderful of weekends. It had just occurred to me that every. single. person we had spent celebrating my birthday weekend with were people I'd met through my wedding photography business.

From Friday night cocktails, tapas and dancing with the girls (all who happen to be uber talented wedding photographers including Amy -who made me the !yummiest! Funfetti cake-, Emilie and Beth), to Saturday's Portland Sea Dogs game with 2007 Samantha Warren Weddings' couple Ashley and Greg, to Sunday spent having lunch and laughs in York with 2006 Samantha Warren Weddings couple Cady and Jimmy followed by beer and the Bruins with 2009 Samantha Warren Weddings' couple Susan and Jeff at a new Irish pub in Wells called Feile, each person had initially been in contact with me because I am a photographer, and now connect with me because I am a dear friend.

After my realization, Kyle lovingly reassured me that no, having 359 degrees of my social circle shaped by my business does not make me a loser. Instead, he says it's quite the opposite, a testament to the connections I have with my couples and the authentic passion I pour into my photographs and my photography business. (It's a good thing I married that guy- he always knows just what to say to take my doubts and turn them into a sources of strength.)

But I've been thinking there is more to it than just that. Last month, I read this insightful post on PhotoLovecat (a blog for those in the photo industry) about finding your ideal client, and thus finding freedom in your business. The author of that post, wrote "I realized something. If I am giving up my Saturdays for people, it needs to be for people that like ME. Truly ME."

It's a sentiment that struck me. And it's stuck with me since as I've given considerable thought as to how I'd define my ideal client. Whenever someone learns that I am a wedding photographer, the first question they inevitably ask is "So, you must work with some real bridezillas! What's the craziest story..."

But honestly, I don't have any. Seriously. I started my business my senior year in college, and in the four years since, I've gained a better sense of self. Concurrently, I've built my business brand so that it better reflects me, my vision and my values (all of which I share plentifully here). As a result, I've found more and more that the couples I work with are not just people I could see myself becoming friends with, but actually are people I have become friends with.

And so it goes without saying that what I look for in my ideal client is what I'd hope to find in a friend: someone who is ridiculously passionate about at least one thing; who is not ashamed to act 8 at least once a day; who is not ashamed to act 80 at least once a day; who is grounded; who would never-ever say "it's just a dog"; who loves the outdoors and enjoys throwing themselves into it; who cannot resist the temptation of at least one thing (usually sometime that is horribly unhealthy for them or will give them blisters); who likely appreciates the finer things in life, but isn't afraid to work their @$$ of for them; who will be honest even if it doesn't make them look good; who respects tradition; who will willingly admit to their weaknesses; who values the experts; who admires their grandparents, but despises those who walk slowly taking up the entire sidewalk; who is loyal; who can make others laugh and who can laugh at themselves; and who is a hard-worker who will put the most muscle into their marriage because their stomach still shimmies when their spouse pulls into the driveway.

Bonus points of course go to those who adore Woody Allen movies; who will say yes to the offer of "whipped cream on that" as least 51 percent of the time, and who have lots of soon-to-be engaged friends!

I once left a newspaper job I loved but that was monopolizing my life because Kyle implored me to consider why I was devoting so much time to it at the expense of myself, and my relationships, including the one with him. "What do they do to deserve more of your time than I get?" he asked. It was a point well taken and though I was crazy about that job and miss it to this day, I left it because I had to admit I was giving so much more to it than it was giving to me. I've never once said or felt that about Samantha Warren Weddings. Nor has Kyle. It's the most fulfilling thing I've ever been a part of and both Kyle and I are grateful beyond words to those of you who have made that so. Every couple has been worthy of my Saturdays (and Sunday mornings and Friday afternoons and Thursday evenings, and all the times in between). Lucky me!

Given this, there is nothing I'd rather do on my birthday weekend then spend time photographing a new Samantha Warren Weddings' couple. So in between our lunch in York and our dinner in Wells on Sunday, I met up with Steven and Alison for their engagement shoot at Greystone Manor in Cape Neddick (where I photographed Emily and Liam's wedding last summer). I'll do a full post featuring them and the fun we had soon, but in the meantime, because Alder broke into the kitchen and ate what was left of my Funfetti cake, I'll give a taste for our session, because really, I know you're here for the pretty pictures.



As my 2009 wedding season begins tomorrow, I am so anxiously looking forward to all the stories I'll get to help tell and the new friends I'll meet and make. And I wonder who I'll be celebrating my birthday with next year?