Bride's Side, Vol. 11: Make it a family affair

Bridal blogger: Andrea (of Andrea and Cory) of Randolph, ME*
Connection to Maine: Bride and groom's homestate
Wedding Date: February 14, 2009
Wedding Location: Ceremony and celebration in Freeport at the Hilton Garden Inn and its intimate Old Town Hall
*Click here to see original coverage of Andrea and Cory's Freeport Maine wedding, here to see their slideshow, and here to see some sample pages of their wedding coffeetable book.

The minute Cory gave me a promise ring on Valentine's Day 2007, I started thinking about what our wedding would be like. Colors, songs, location... A little more than a year had passed when Cory surprised me at the Portland International Jetport with an engagement ring in front of several family members. They had been kept hidden behind newspapers until the big moment at luggage claim (I had just returned from a trip to Pennsylvania to visit friends from college – who would later become bridesmaids). I couldn't stop jumping up and down - I couldn't wait to marry Cory!

Within hours of our engagement (literally), friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances were asking “When's the date?” I had always been thinking about what our wedding might look like, but suddenly it was much more real. I received a wedding planning book at the airport from my sister-in-law and had plans to follow it page by page – it would tell me what to do, who to hire, where to go, to whom I should speak. At first, I felt relieved that it had a timeline, what to do 12 months before the wedding, 10, 6, 9 weeks, 3 days, 2 minutes... phew – a plan was set.

However, what I wish that someone had told me is that wedding planning books and shows are not for everyone. The deadlines the book gave me began to worry me, we need to do this and that 10 weeks prior to the wedding. What if I didn't? Would my wedding be a disaster?

Luckily, I had a great team to work with to keep the wedding planning close and in the family and not worry about what the books and magazines said I should do. My mom works as an event coordinator and her creativity, and knowledge of her daughter's likes and dislikes saved the day! My grandmother, aunt, little cousin and more became the wedding planning staff, the thinking board, and my stress was no more. It felt so natural and it made the planning process so much more enjoyable. Working with family might not be ideal for every bride, but I found it to be my saving grace.

A short time before the big day, Cory and I won tickets to the Portland Wedding Expo on Q97.9 (we're big fans of the morning show with Meredith, Jeff, and Lori) – Cory told them our engagement story and the opportunity was ours! At this point, most of our decisions had been made, but we were eager to explore the venue and see what was available and what we might have missed. We hadn't yet thought about tuxedoes, so we set off to see what vendors we could talk to.

Thank goodness we had nearly all of our plans ironed out. It felt like I was being sold a used car by an well-meaning, but very energetic salesman. “Hey! Do you have a DJ?!” - “Miss – do you have your invitations made?!” Cory thought that they should have made hats with little flags saying “Have DJ” or “Have location – seeking tuxedo rental.” It was overwhelming and for us, impersonal. It seemed like a great opportunity that would be helpful to many, but I found that keeping the planning in the family, keeping it close, and working as a group was so much more rewarding.


Biggest planning surprise: Getting married in February invites sickness – nearly everyone in the wedding party had a cold or an upset stomach and many guests left following the ceremony. It was also surprising how difficult it was to form the guest list: big families, limited numbers, high school/college friends, long distances, addresses, etc.

Favorite wedding planning resource: Cory's experience as a DJ proved very helpful – we had already been to so many weddings that we had a good idea of what we would and wouldn't want for our own. My Mom was also a HUGE planning resource. Some brides need to be involved in every detail, but it was such a relief to leave a lot of the planning to my Mom. She knows me so well and is creative – her job as an event coordinator quickly translated into wedding planner galore. Who knew that silk flowers could be bought in multiple states, at multiple stores, over the course of a year and look so elegant?

I wish I'd spent more time: thinking about plans for my step-kids during wedding preparations – activities, clothes, naps, etc. I also wish that I'd spent more time making lists – I seemed to be forgetting little details from doing laundry the week before (so that we'd have clothes to wear during the honeymoon) to leaving my veil and tiara in a box on the kitchen floor. Though my Mom did a lot of the planning, there were lots of little responsibilities that would have gone smoother had I made lists and crossed things off as completed.

I wish I'd spent less time: focusing on the reception and more on the ceremony. I was so nervous about walking down the aisle that I just wanted the ceremony to be over. However, it turned out to be incredible and precious. The reception flew by and was SO busy – interacting with people (did I talk to everyone?), specific formal dances, the cutting of the “cake” (editor's note: Andrea and Cory has a massive whoopie pie instead of a traditional cake- what fun!) It was a great party, but I wish that I had paid more attention to the ceremony to enjoy the moments shared between Cory and I all the more.


I wish I had: scheduled the wedding at an earlier time (ceremony was at 5 p.m.). By the time dinner was over and formal dances had begun, many people were leaving (a lot due to sickness, but some to time). I wish that I had also invited more colleagues and worried less about every distant family member or long lost friend – I was able to have several Morse faculty at the wedding, but would have loved to have more. Cory too wishes he would have thought more about the people he works with – it seemed to be a group that accidentally got missed.

I wish I hadn't: left so much of the work and planning to family members. Don't get me wrong – I was very grateful to leave much of the work to my Mom, but I wish that I had helped in the making of decorations, flowers, and the program. I loved the way everything turned out and wouldn't have changed a thing, but I wish that I would have been more present.


I am glad I/we did: went to Las Vegas for the honeymoon. It was something new for both of us – Cory's first time on a plane and my first voyage to the West Coast. We also are glad that we had a whoopie pie as our wedding cake. It was so much fun talking to people about the idea, about purchasing a 5 pound whoopie pie as the ceremony cake and creating a tower of pre-wrapped individual pies to be distributed to guests. We saved a ton of money and guests were thrilled!! Many were able to take home extras to their children at home or give their whoopie pie away (as it was pre-wrapped.) We saved time (no cutting of individual slices) and if we ever want to recreate the memory – it will be oh-so-inexpensive and easy to remember our wedding “cake.”

I am glad we didn't: follow the traditional ceremony rules to a tee. We showed a video of pictures set to music during the ceremony to help guests get to know us better as a couple before the big moment. We had seen these videos done at many receptions, but we wanted to have a longer ceremony. Between the video, our “letters” to each other, and a musical performance, many of our guests told us that this was the most touching and FUN ceremony they had ever been too.

Favorite wedding moment: The introduction of us as a married couple was thrilling – it felt so official! I also loved marching down the aisle to a French song by Céline Dion and the groom breaking down in tears was memorable. The surprise serenade to Mr. Big's “The next to be with you” during the reception by Cory and friends was priceless (Cory's no Sinatra).

Detail that was worth it: The placement settings were a huge hit! Female guests found their table by picking up a paper Eiffel Tower with their name on a heart at the top. The guys were thrilled with the silver, black, blue, or white matchbox cars that bore their names. They were like little boys when describing the car they received, or traded for, or even stole from a friend at their table: “I'm not a PT Cruiser, I'm a '69 GTO!”


Detail that was a waste: We really did love our candy bar: m&m's, chocolates, jelly beans, and more! However, we purchased way too much and were begging guests to take home bags of candy to their families. The hotel staff was also invited to grab a doggy bag and yet there was still enough to share with my students the week after the honeymoon. Not that they were upset!

Best wedding splurge: Hiring a phenomenal photographer. Our budget was tight, but we really wanted great pictures – we love taking pictures ourselves and capturing the little moments of life. We could have asked friends to take pictures or bought a smaller photography package, but we wanted to make the pictures of our day our number one priority and it paid off. By saving money in so many other areas, we were able to hire a professional photographer with an amazing eye. Go Sam!


Best wedding steal: My wedding dress was $30 and I actually bought a 2nd for the same price. My Dad works for an Insurance company that had a claim with Andrea's Bridal. They had had some flood damage and several of their dresses were up for auction. I wasn't even engaged yet, but we had a feeling it would be coming and bid on two dresses. The minimum bid was 25 dollars and we won both – a 2,000 dollar value! We had to add a little fabric, (I wasn't quite the size of the dress), but there were little to no damages. We dressed it up with a sash and it was perfect! Think outside the box when getting a dress! You never know where one will turn up! Another steal was the DJ. We were able to use Cory's equipment that he uses to do weddings, dances, and birthday parties and asked a relative who had done work as a DJ and at a radio station to help us out. A $100 gift certificate was all it took to convince Uncle Ken to come out of retirement.

My best advice is: to let things roll, let the wedding details flow throughout the day and not worry if every detail is perfect. Enjoy the day – it goes by so fast!


And, for a bit of shameless self-promotion, what was your favorite part
about working with Samantha Warren Weddings: Sam takes the most creatively fun and “oh-so-cute” pictures in addition to those important formals. We loved looking at pictures of weddings that she had photographed on her website– the shoes, the dresses, the laughs, the looks, the gestures – all of those Kodak moments were captured and so well done. Sam is incredibly comfortable to be with and makes you look forward to your own wedding even more! It felt like we were lifetime friends after just a few minutes at our first meeting.

At the wedding, guests snapped some pictures of Sam taking pics and she's smiling in every single one. We loved how much she enjoyed being at our wedding and were very happy that she was there to share it with us. She was also a big help in getting ready for the ceremony and happy to help out. Her upbeat personality and ability to mingle and blend in created an instant connection that was both professional and personal.

Read Past Bride's Side Posts:
-Vol.1: 10 tips for making the "Best Day of Your Life" just that
-Vol. 2: 'Remember you are starting a life together'
-Vol. 3: Go green, but stay real
Vol.4: If I knew then, what I know now
-Vol.5: 'Try not to over think things- hard as it may be'
-Vol. 6: What to expect when you are unexpecting
-Vol. 7: 'It's all about being your collective selves'
-Vol. 8: 'A celebration of the people who shaped us'
-Vol. 9: 'Experience is the best wedding planner'
-Vol. 10: 'I would do it all again tomorrow, if I could...'