Hey, hey we're the Manglers (and we're the worst team in dodgeball)

(The Moxie Manglers official team photo. Starting top left: Kyle (my husband), me, Ryan (our team MVP), Deidre, Jon (who works with Kyle at TRC) and Greg (a former groom). Starting bottom left: Shane (a grad school friend), Anastasia (Shane's sister and a very cool mom), and Ashley (Greg's wife- read her bride's side below). Absent is Dan, who plays dodgeball twice a week, but was packing for a weekend trip to Iceland, where he hopes to meet and fall in love with Bjork.

A wise man once said that if you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball. While far be it from me -a mere dodgeball mortal- to challenge the coaching of Patches O'Houlihan, Kyle and I have spent the last seven weeks coming to learn that this is pure poppycock!

Those of you who follow my blog, Twitter or Facebook know that I organized a team to play in the Casco Bay Sports' winter dodgeball league. We were one of the last to join the league for the season, and so our shirt color selections were limited. We ended up with orange, and in a nod to the beverage that makes Mainers mighty, we named ourself the Moxie Manglers. Sadly (and despite our team including several former standout high school athletes, an Iraq war vet, a female cop, a bad ass rugby player and a mid-season addition of man -no, a legend really- whose body naturally produces amphetamines) our name is the most intimidating thing about us.

Each Tuesday night, we jog down Kent Street, make a mad dash across busy Brighton Avenue (see Patches, we can dodge traffic) and then proceed to get so embarrassed that even our dogs have requested we only walk them in the dark of night from now on.

For much of the season, we were second to last but in recent weeks, we've fallen to plain old last. So we are officially the worst team in Portland dodgeball, and as someone pointed out, that means we're likely the worst team in all of Maine! We are humbled by this honor.

One thing you can say about the Moxie Manglers though, is that they throw the best apres-dodgeball parties. Because Kyle and I live less than two blocks from the gym where we play, the whole team usually gathers at our house afterwards for Mexi night and Coronas and conversation. Last night marked the end of the regular season, and we suspect our playoff run to be shortlived, so we had a big gathering last night- an orange-you-glad-you're-a-Mangler-orange-food-only potluck, complete with a trophy presentation. My truffle mac and cheese turned out more yellow than orange, but there was enough Moxie and orange Jello shots that no one seemed to mind. We feasted on wings, sweet potato fries and smoked salmon pizza, and started strategizing for next season. We may be the worst dodgeball team ever, but we've got plenty of moxie and we know how to have a party (see below)!

Despite our suckiness, we've built up quite a fan following. For those of you who keep track of such things, awards last night went to:

Ryan: Peter La Fleur MVP Award
Sam: Patches O'Houilhan Team Captain Two Tons of Iron(y) Award
Ashley: Lastest (wo!)Man Standing
Deidre: Frosted Tip-TOPPER Award
Dan: Most Dedicated Dodger (Plays 2 Nights a Week)
Greg: Most Dodgyiest
Anastazya: Bad Ass Mom Award (Yeah- she has two kids!!!)
Shane: Best Deflector
Kyle: Best Boxers (long story- suffice to say everyone's teenage nightmare of showing up to school with no pants came true)
Jon: Most Moxie!

Each Tuesday when I write to the Manglers, I end my message with a quote from Dodgeball the Movie: A True Underdog Story. If you haven't yet watched this cinematic masterpiece (which means at this point you are probably wondering who the heck Patches O'Houlihan is), I urge you to add it to your NetFlix queue immediately. It's a Ben Stiller/Vince Vaughn classic that is almost in the realm of awesomeness as Zoolander (almost, but not quite).

Peter La Fleur (Vince Vaughn): I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal.
Kate Veatch (Christine Taylor- aka Ben Stiller's wife in real life): Well I guess that makes sense, in a really sad way.
Peter La Fleur: Sad? You want to know what's sad? Six grown men playing dodgeball.

I could not have said it any better.


The trophies! Yeah, I made them myself. All class!


Shane and I attended grad school at UMaine together. We're thankful for his service!


His lovely sister Anastazya, a former cop and mother of two. Seriously, would your mother play dodgeball? I think not! She is amazing!


We're very proud that Deirdre was just elected treasurer of Portland Women's Rugby. A two-sport standout!


Ryan was our team MVP. Look how tan he got in Jamaica!


Kyle recruited fellow TRCer Jon to the team. At the time, Jon pledged "I can't throw very well, but I am kind of a spazz." He did not disappoint. His lovely girlfriend Leah came to cheer us on during our final game last night but due to a childhood dodgeball trauma, has declined to join the team.


Go Team Tucker!


Aren't Deidre and Ryan adorable?

The playoff bracket. Any bets on how far the Manglers will advance? We're gonna be the Davidson (of 2008) in 2009!