Bride's side, Vol. 5: 'Try not to over think things – hard as it may be'

Bridal blogger: Kristina (of Kristina & Jimmy) of Salem, MA*
Connection to Maine: Bride's homestate
Wedding Date: May 24, 2008
Wedding Location: Wedding ceremony and reception at the York Harbor Inn in York, Maine
Guests invited: 130
Guests attending: 90 (75 from out of state)
*You can see original coverage of Kristina and Jimmy's wedding here on the old I Do Click Wedding Photography blog and watch their slideshow here

When Jimmy proposed in May of 2006, we were both heads-in-the-clouds ecstatic! We were getting married! Of course we had talked about it, but the proposal was very much a surprise (a very good surprise). But because of this, neither of us had really thought about what we wanted our wedding to be. We did know that we actually had to have a wedding (although my dad's lifelong joke of buying roundtrip tickets to Vegas and $50 bucks was briefly considered), but beyond that, we had nothing. Jimmy and I were starting from scratch on just about every wedding detail.

As all of this year's brides are gearing up for the big event, I hope that I can offer some bits of advice. Every couple is different – that much is obvious. One of the first things Jimmy and I did was reflect on the weddings we had been to together and realized how big the spectrum really was! There were large, lavish weddings as well as intimate, casual weddings. There were bands or DJs, sit down dinners or buffets. There were snowstorms at the winter weddings and the remnants of a hurricane at a shore wedding. Where is a couple to even begin? How do you weigh all of these options and ensure that hurricanes stay at bay?


We were given the most wonderful advice from many people (including from our parents): we were told to make the day exactly what WE wanted it to be and not to worry so much about everyone else. On top of that, Jimmy and I agreed from the get-go that there would be at least 10 guests that would be unhappy about something; we didn't know who, or what, but agreed that this would happen and that it was OK.

Just know that there is no set formula for having the most wonderful day. You need to pick what feels right for you as a couple and of course try to stay close to your budget, pesky thing that it is. Try not to over think things – hard as it may be. I think this is the one thing we did that kept the whole planning process sane. Basically, once we finished our research and then talked to a vendor, if the vibe was right, we went with it. It may sound cheesy, but it worked and kept our stress level pretty low. Take Sam for example. I spent hours researching local photographers (that was one thing we wanted to do – hire Maine-based folks). Sam's style was most to my liking, so I contacted her first. Once we had our initial interaction, I knew instantly she was the right one. It made no sense to me to continue interviewing or searching any further. We booked her and could not have been happier. It worked that way for our venue, our florist, our violinist and our DJ.


Once you get all of the details down and get to that best of days, try to enjoy it. Jimmy and I loved every second of our day and would not have changed a single thing. The whole day goes by so very quickly that it is important for the two of you to step back every so often and take it all in. All of those people are there for the two of you. Be sure to acknowledge that because you never know what tomorrow holds. We have lost two dear people who attended our wedding and we are so grateful that they were a part of our day – we hold those memories dearly. It is a powerful thing.

And don't forget, not everything can be planned for. Sometimes, the best moments are ones you didn't see coming. At our wedding, we requested a specific last song that had meaning to us. In the middle of that song, all of our guests gathered around, tears flowing and there was a spontaneous, emotional group hug. Jimmy and I did not see it coming (could never have planned that) and we still get teary thinking about it; that song gives us chills now and is extra special to us. It is our favorite moment of the day.


Biggest planning surprise: Oops. Hair salons book up in advance on the weekends… Oh yeah, and that marriage license thing... first, you need to apply for one and second, in Maine, the town halls aren't necessarily open on a weekend which can be tricky if you live out of state...

Favorite wedding planning resource: Sam's Blog. I stalked it daily. Real people, real New England weddings, real budgets. Enough said. I stalked Emilie Sommer's blog too, thanks to a link from Sam in some long forgotten post.


I wish I'd spent more time: Sleeping in on the wedding day. I was so excited, I got up early and ran out of steam at the end of the night. We had to leave the after party too early.

I wish I'd spent less time: Thinking about the tiny details which never came to fruition – Should we have starfish place tags? Do we print programs? Do the bridesmaids really want me to dictate what kind of shoes they wear?


I am glad I/we did: Allow children. There are so many children in our family it was important having them there. I am also glad that we had sanctioned kids' tables outfitted with toys and games and then had them fed first with chicken fingers and fries. It kept them occupied for the 'boring' parts and helped the parents relax.

I am glad we didn't: Drink too much. We remember everything. Boring as it sounds, so glad it worked out that way although it was not planned – we were just so busy chatting, dancing, etc.


Favorite wedding moment: Group Hug! (see above)

Detail that was worth it: Hiring van service to transport our guests


Detail that was a waste: I honestly think we did a good job limiting the fluff. I can't think of anything!!!

Best wedding splurge: Make your own ice cream sundae bar instead of cake. Hard to believe that it costs more, but SOOOO worth it!


Best wedding steal: Table Numbers. I went to a craft store and bought really pretty gold paper and picked a really pretty font and printed them at (gasp!) work on the professional copy machine.

My best advice is: Go with your gut, and don't over think decisions.


And, for a bit of shameless self-promotion, what was your favorite part about working with Samantha Warren Weddings: When Sam walked in the door, it was as if my best friend had just arrived. By that I mean that I felt instantly at ease and knew that she truly cared and that she was looking out for me. She brings such a professional yet relaxed vibe. I can't say enough good things about her. We had guests come up to us during (and after) the wedding raving about how great she was – how she was everywhere and managed to capture everything… I am pretty sure she was part of that group hug, too. Kudos Sam – you are a ROCK STAR!!!

Read Past Bride's Side Posts:
-Vol.1: 10 tips for making the "Best Day of Your Life" just that
-Vol. 2: 'Remember you are starting a life together'
-Vol. 3: Go green, but stay real
Vol.4: If I knew then, what I know now