Bride's side, Vol. 1: 10 tips for making the "Best Day of Your Life" just that

With sub 10-degree temps typical these days and snow stacking up alongside the streets here in New England, it's sometimes hard to even think about summer wedding season, a mere four months away. But many of my 2009 clients are in the height of their planning, and couples who just engaged over the holidays are now beginning an often overwhelming planning process. So many of my past brides and grooms have told me how much they relied on the Samantha Warren Weddings blog as a resource in their planning. This past summer alone, I had brides tell me they'd done everything from booked their band to bought their bridesmaids dresses based on what they'd seen on my blog.

From my own experience and in talking to my brides, I think what is most valuable when planning is having these real weddings and real couples (like the ones on my blog) to look to for insight and ideas. Given this, I am giddy to be instating a new series on my blog featuring my past clients as one-time guest bloggers, sharing their experiences and offering up the advice they were grateful for or wish someone had given then sooner.

Since I've put out the call for guest bloggers to contribute to the "Bride's Side", I've been overwhelmed with the response and I am thrilled and thankful by how willing my recent brides and grooms are to share their struggles and successes with other couples. For those who are currently planning their ceremonies and celebrations, I hope their stories and suggestions make the planning process more enjoyable/efficient and grounded in what really matters.

The Bride's Side (if you have a better name suggestion, please send it along as several of my recent grooms have already committed to posting and I want to include them too) posts will be published here each Tuesday for the next several months. And I can't think of a better guest blogger to begin with than Emily, a celebrated blogger herself whose wildly wonderful wedding to Liam I photographed in July. As those who received my winter e-magazine might remember, Emily's wedding day had several gigantic glitches, but it was her grace throughout the guests most remember.



Bridal blogger: Emily (of Emily & Liam) of Annapolis, Maryland (also known as Miss Tiramisu on WeddingBee.Com)*
Connection to Maine: Bride's homestate
Wedding Date: 7.19.08
Wedding Location: Church ceremony in York, Maine and tented reception at the Greystone Manor in Cape Neddick, Maine
Guests invited: 252
Guests attending: 184 (120+ of them from out-of-state)
*Click here for coverage of Emily and Liam's wedding on the blog or here for their slideshow

It's always interesting for me when someone asks, "how was your wedding"? I have to be careful to tell them that it was "wonderful, perfect, beyond words, just amazing", before I tell them any details. That's because if I mention the fact that in addition to our guests, we also hosted rain, thunder, lightning, hail, and a three-hour power outage during our outdoor wedding reception, no one believes me that it was any fun at all! My wedding day was the best day of my life. It was also sort of a disaster.

Top Ten Tips for Making the "Best Day of Your Life" Just That:

#1. Find a home for the planning.
Almost from the moment we were engaged, I began planning our wedding, and I had so much fun in the process (which you can read about if you're interested- I was a blogger over on the fabulous site Weddingbee.com). I was totally into the details, the DIY, and the precise planning of every last thing. There were two things that made the stressful process of planning so much easier for me. Number one was having a place to really obsess about it all. There are tons of online communities out there, which are really great for advice, inspiration, and venting. Find one that fits you and obsess to your heart's content alongside all of the other brides doing the same. Your fiance, your family, and your non-bride friends will thank you.

#2. Hire a wedding coordinator.
Your ticket to a stress-free wedding day is a wedding coordinator. Don't think that they are only for the rich and famous- they're not. Don't think that your mom/sister/aunt/friend can do the job just as easily- they can't. Don't you want your family and your friends to enjoy the day as well? We hired a day-of coordinator that also helped us via email and phone throughout the whole year leading up to the wedding. We planned from out of state, so hiring someone was really a no-brainer, but I can't think of anyone who wouldn't benefit from at least a day-of coordinator. Enjoy your day and let someone else worry for you! (We used Karen Gazzara of Affordable Occasions and I can't recommend her enough.)

#3. Details will make it yours.
Every minute that I put into the tiny little details was all worth it when I saw it all in action on my wedding day. People commented on the tiniest of things (see some of Em's fabulous details below).



#4. But only if it makes you happy.
Fun little details are only nice if they are, well, fun. Don't get caught up in the tiny stuff only to lose track of the big picture. You're not someone who likes crafting? Don't make your own favors! Not into flowers? Don't arrange your own self-picked bouquet! Save your sanity and don't forget the eleventh-hour options of paying a pro or forgoing it altogether (no one will notice, I promise!).

#5. Do-it-yourself.
Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty. We received a quote for paper lantern rental and set up that started with a five and was followed by three zero's. I nearly fainted. I also got terribly upset because I had my heart set on lanterns hanging from the ceiling of our tent. Enter one loving fiance, one ladder-owning dad, and a labor team of friends and relatives available the day before the wedding. We had over a hundred beautiful paper lanterns purchased, lit, and set-up all within the two-zero-zero price range! At the very least, explore your options before agreeing to pay for something you could possible do yourself for less.

#6. Go with the flow.
Would our wedding have been better if we hadn't had a storm or power outage? Well maybe. But we might not have had impromptu musical performances by friends and family members, a heated game of croquet, or a father-daughter dance on the lawn to a song sung off-key by my cousins had everything gone "as planned". The unexpected stuff made our day memorable and that much more fun.

#7. Focus on the positive.
When hail was bouncing on the grass outside our tent, our cocktail table umbrellas had taken flight, and the lights were flickering, I certainly had a lot to get upset about. The only thing that kept me sane was taking a look around at all the good stuff going on. Family and friends had traveled from all over to be there, my now-husband was standing next to me, and we were all (thankfully) safe after a scary lightning storm. Be grateful and put a smile on your face. Spending a minute worrying about anything that happens that you can't control is a minute of your already-too-short wedding day that you are wasting.

#8. Take time for you.
In the calm after the storm, my husband and I headed down to the beach for some time to regroup and for a few photos. In hindsight I think we probably delayed things a bit, but taking a few minutes alone (we barely noticed Sam and her camera!) was really important and I'm glad we did it.



#9. Get it on video.
A friend who was married two years before me gave me the invaluable advice to get a wedding videographer. We had a small videography budget, but were fortunate to find someone who would work with us. Even if you just have a relative record your ceremony, you will be so glad you did it. Will we watch it every day? No, but being able to hear our voices say our marriage vows is incredible. Don't miss the chance to capture it on video. (Want to see ours? It's here.)

#10. Hire Sam.
No seriously! She didn't pay me to say this! Hiring Sam was one of the best choices we made. Not only was she a delight on our (crazy!) wedding day, but the photos that she created for us are simply priceless. I can't imagine photography not being at the top of anyone's list of priorities... it's all you have left when the day is over.


Biggest planning surprise: Just how expensive everything really is... especially rentals!
Favorite wedding planning resource: A million and one wedding blogs, where you get real advice from real people.
I wish I'd spent more time: Packing things carefully for the wedding day. I lost a little bit of planning steam in the last couple of days, and carefully boxing things up sort of slipped my mind. The result was a few misplaced items once we got to the hotel which just caused unnecessary stress for everyone.
I wish I'd spent less time: Stressing out during the planning process. Luckily I had a wonderfully calm fiance who reminded me many times about the big picture.
I am glad I/we did: Had all of our brothers and sisters in our wedding party. Sure it was a little larger than we had initially planned, but it meant so much to have them all up there with us.
I am glad we didn't: Drink anything at the rehearsal dinner besides water. I put a lime in my ice water so no one gave me a hard time- they thought I was chugging gin and tonics, but I knew better!
Favorite wedding moment: Dancing with my husband- we didn't leave the dance floor all night.
Detail that was worth it: The cds we gave as favors featuring favorite love songs of our family members and bridal party. We still hear that people are playing them!
Detail that was a waste: I wouldn't say a waste, but the detail that really got overlooked was our wish bowl guestbook- most guests never knew it was there.
Best wedding splurge: Our band. And they rocked! (www.brickparkent.com)
Best wedding steal: For all that she did for us, I think we didn't pay nearly enough for our wedding coordinator.
And finally (please excuse the shameless self-promotion), what was your favorite part about working with Samantha Warren Weddings: You want to be really comfortable with your photographer, because she's going to be with you every minute of your wedding day. She'll see your good side, and inevitably your stressed-out not so pretty side too. Sam was a wonderful, friendly, calm presence during all the moments of our day.

Emily (or I) would be happy to answer your questions about her wedding day and the planning for it. Please post them in the comments section below.